Five Nights at Freddy’s: Pizzeria Simulator – Part 2

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier! And welcome back to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator! Let’s get back into it! I still have no idea how to play, what this game wants from me, or what I’m supposed to be doing in any of this. But I’ve got money, and I’ve got the ability to do something here! [Laughs] I don’t know what it should be, but aeeeeEEEHHH Uhhhhhhh I’m gonna save my money just for now. Because I’ve got Ned bear [chuckles] I’ve got- I’ve got Ned bear here! Ned bed is do good me good! And I’ve got several advertisements up. Guess I could upgrade to a larger floor plan… nah I’m gonna wait – I’m still gonna wait still gonna wait! I’m gonna just go into this and try not to die immediately because that was my problem is because I- I went straight for the- the, the, the, the, the, the, the the thing! I went straight for all of that and I didn’t do the the things I needed to do Okay, so what I gotta do is I gotta order what I need to order. I HEARD THAT ALREADY! AAAHHHHAAHHH!!!! Goooodddd damn it! I heard it already! What the hell!? So I need to be more mindful of what I’m doing I guess? uhhhhh I don’t know- I heard him! At least I heard him! That’s a nice thing- I guess i gotta shut off everything! Uhhhh Okay… Ooh! Heard that… heard that… Ooh! What was that all about? …huh? Okay… I don’t like it. I don’t like any of that! What is that noise!? Why? That’s the fun fun noise! eehhhh I don’t know! [music] AHHHHH!! NOOOO!! I don’t want an ad! Okay, I think I’m fine! Oh wait- wait! I heard somethin! I think I heard somethin! *squeak* WONK! …hello? ….hello? Okay… Back on line! Get that there! ah, AHHH NOO! I HEARD THHAAATTT!! [whispering] Oh god I hate this! I hate everything about this! (x1) I hate everything about this! (x2) I hate everything about this! (x3) I hate everything about this! (x4) I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS! (x5) I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS! (x6) [music] I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU MARTY PLUNGER!!! aye… Okay, we’re gonna try to do that. I guess… Order these GOD DAMN UTENSILSI IF I CAN JUST GET UTENSILS FOR MY GOD DAMN PIZZERIA I’D BE SOO HAPPY! They have to eat it with their hands! They have to shove it in! Burning cheese! All over their BODIES! It’s horrible in here! ahhhhh! Oh Frick, that’s so loud. Oh god it’s so loud. I can’t hear shit! I can’t hear shit! Okay got that Okay, everything’s fine. everything’s fine… everything’s fine… *squeak, sqeak* Wonk, wonk! I don’t what- oo OH ! What was that? What was that? no! No! NO! NOO! NOOO! NOO! NO! nnNOO! Okay… Oh it’s so hot in here! Oh 101 ah shit! [nervous laugh] I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die that’s what I’m gonna do! Imma jus- Imma just frick frack ‘n DIE! Any motion? No. No. Motion. No. Motion. Scanning. Wooo all right, thats okay That’s not so bad Come oonnnNNN!! motion audio put that over there all right maintenance unclog toilets GET THOSE TOILETS UNCLOGGED!! somebody had too many exotic butters over in there! [mumbling] we’ve got to get those toilets unclogged OR WE’LL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE oh that’s bad. oghh! [whale noise] I am NOT causing a ruckus, I’ll have you know. You’re not like that okay, all right? I think we’re good Think we’re good Clean the ovens I don’t know why. why can’t the ovens clean themselves? at least they’re not loud. Gotta turn on the air I’m thinking that maybe… whoa what was that? woah I’m thinkin that maybe… I’m thinking that maybe, maybe the quiet vents would be good to have To have because if the quiet vents are there then there there’s no not less there’s less chance that I get low Oooooxygen levels of heatness come on come on come on this last one this is the last one! Get it, I’m outta here! IM OUTIE BABY! [odd groan] Okay, I’m outie. I’m out, closing time indeed. Okay. Let’s see if I can not totally mess up this whole ordeal with the salvage thing “Before you is an animatronic found in the back alley. We are unsure of its origins It is your job to complete the maintenance checklist before claiming it as Salvaged” Hi Springtrap “or, if you choose to, you can throw it back into the alley where you found it and forfeit payment, please make your choice now” ahhhhum ima ima proceed I guess “You have chosen to proceed with the maintenance checklist remember use your company issued Taser to return the animatronic to a neutral state if you feel that it’s becoming unstable or aggressive. You can only use it three times before it begins to damage the animatronic and decrease its value begin audio prompt in three two one” [odd, warbling, electronic noises] I’m watchin you springy boiii! “Document results” Oh No whoo alright. “Begin audio prompt in three two one” [more warbling electronic noises, only slightly different from before.] what you sayin to me? ah! Thought you said something me, that’s right. Yeah, you don’t give me no attituuude springy boy! Imma document that as a no [weird noises] oh wait I wasn’t done? whoops oh.. “Document results” uh….no. “Begin audio prompt in three two one” yah [more warbling noises] Not really what I would call safe if uhh… if these audio prompts do something to you “Document results” Okay, dokay ah no you go back. You go back, Missy! you going back. You go back alright. Only got one more of those “Begin audio prompt in three two one” [more warbling noises] Aint much to like you, aint much to like you “Document results” alright, ok… nothin “Begin audio prompt in three two one” heyyyy! No! hahahahahahahahahahaha! carry on what were you saying? oh [more warbling noises] This is a long one! “Document results” okie dokie! No “You have completed the maintenance checklist” okay? “You may proceed with the salvage” all right! “well done” all right! “end tape” All right! Hey, that’s probably safe! [whispery male voice] “What a deceptive calling! I knew it was a lie the moment I heard it, obviously, but its intriguing none the less…” [slurred] wha? wha? whadda you mean? you wanna run that by me one more time? you wanna run that by me one more time? you wan.. [starts crying] great job! [continues crying] I gotta lotta money! [sobs] no lawsuits, oh boy! I’m so happy about our legal system! [still sobbing] I’ve never been so excited about… everything. okay “gumball swivel hands”? oh boy! neon stage lights? oh yahh! ahahahah [starts crying again] All right, how about how about I get a deluxe-oh stage? I get rid of that shit ball stage that had the horrible things in it and I… marked down? “Purchasing a bulky item in this condition comes with a significant risk of something undesirable.” but its so cheap! look at that! How can you even.. ha I can’t pass that up! There’s no way. There’s no way I can pass that up. I gotta get mr. Hippo come here mr, [money noise] [mark imitates noise of slot machine dinging] “smiles and servos inc” ohohoho Yes, yes yes, I love it, oh ballpit tower YAS! YAHAS! Oh yes! I love it! I want it all, please give that to me. i’ll take that thank you very much. Okay, all right Yeah, you’re going up there mr. OHAWAHAHAHAHA! So happy in here. I’m so happy that there’s happiness happening, boom! You are… let me play test you!
[Candy Cadet, in a mechanized, deep voice] “I’m the Candy Cadet. Come get your candy here. I have candy all day, every day, candy candy candy.” [Mark] Okay.. I’m ready… oh, space, oh. [Candy Cadet] “Return to Candy Cadet again, and maybe I will tell you a story?” [Airhorn noises, Mark nervously laughs] What the hell, Candy Cadet? [mumbling] All right Candy Cadet, let’s go back in. [Candy Cadet] “I have candy, and maybe I will Candy Cadet to you a story?” “Candy.” I don’t like you candy cadet! Candy Cadet, I don’t like you! WOWWWW, it’s so big! I’m gonna look into this bad boy. Aww, you’re so cute? [airhorns] What–? Wow! 100 dollars! That didn’t make any sense! Let’s do that again! Alright! oh! What, are you dead?
[Candy Cadet] “Return to Candy Cadet again, and maybe I will tell you a story?” [airhorns] Okay, that’s maxed out on Candy Cadet. Candy Cadet ain’t going no higher, so Wow Performance bonuses.. why? Why did I get those? You know what I’m gonna upgrade my floor…woah okay. You know what? Can I move that? Where’d my ball pit go? There’s my ball pit. I’m gonna go in the ball pit. here we go!!! Weeee.. [laughs] All right, well, let’s look at the sponsorship. Ah! Flo’s Glossy Floss! The true step to true romance. Flo’s Glossy Floss Inc. is offering to pay you for advertising.. yes! Give me the Flo Glossy Floss! Gimme! [reading] Play tokens left. Oh, I can’t play anymore, I guess. I guess that was it. You know what? We’re gonna put.. I’m gonna put some safety straps on you, Mr. Candy Just ’cause I don’t like the way you are. I want No. 1 Crate. I love No. 1 Crate. I love Pan Stan. Oh What do we got here?.. riding Rockets lemonade clown? I? I don’t like lemonade clown, Oh Fruit punch clown? marked down even better than the lemonade clown! who even needs lemonade clown when you got fruit punch clown? I’m gonna buy the pair. rock star Freddie! hell ya! rock star Bonnie! Hell ya! rock star Chica! hell ya! let’s rock! rock star foxy! rocky foxy? roxy foxy? four, four heavies. I like that [money sound] [mark sound] We got new, balloons! I can’t afford anything Oh alright…uglooo ohhhhh nooooo! no no! Prize King don’t like that. ahhhh. ha ha ha security puppet [while laughing] Lefty? Lefty is 5 dollars! you guys seeing this shit? Lefty’s five dollars! Oh my god. Oh Fun time chica, oh [starts laughing again] pickles? Oh, why is it not available? Why is my jar of pickles unavailable? It’s 15 dollars, very good condition, happiness one happiness isnt even a qualification on any of these other ones. give me my goddamn pickles! alright, whatever I’m gonna buy lefty come here you all right fruit punch clown… alright not fruit punch clown Oh, no, I can’t I can’t play test them I’ve got no tokens Well, that’s a shame ah Lefty. Okay, put you on the right lefty ohohohohoh lefty aint too happy about that Maybe this was a mistake, maybe this was a horrible horrible mistake maybe lefty was a terrible error! Maybe having lefty there was the worst thing I could have ever done I think it might be true. guys, I don’t know what to know what it is, but Lefty somethin tells me He’s gonna be ornery about not being on the right on the left on the left right. Oh well That’s what it is. get ready for lawsuits baby. Oh boy here we go oh boy…wait what about the ‘acoopment’? ah Printer. spare handy, hire handyman? Oh, that’s great. I want to do that. Oh boy. Where is it motion? ah ok. Ohhhhhhhhhhh! [mark oh’ing along to the song] Please thank you They’re not over here somethin tells me I’m doing this horribly wrong okay here we go uh! oooo! I heard that… oh boy I’m gonna die aren’t I… I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die! that still took a while whoa – – two two two two Two of them? ooh. Oh we got two we got hey! oh! [whisper] oooooo… [sinister whisper] “you cannot resist…..” wahhhh?! you? “you cannot resist such as this….” What did you say? I don’t know [squonk] what kind of enigma you talking about but can you shut up and go away? any minute now, any minute now, any minute now!!!! [yell] ooo! Okay, I see you two Gotta get the last thing on the printing… its my new spankin printer. Okay. They’re over there. Okay. That’s good. That’s good thing right That’s good. Clean the ovens that’s good also that’s done Okay, so you can… you can look around while it’s doing it. I don’t need that fan on all the time AHHHHHHH Thats not good! [in tune with the song] OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD [whisper] ok… I think we’re gonna be fine ah, Ah, AH AHHHHHHHHH [sinister whisper, which is unintelligable] [whispered] alriggggghhhhttt….. Okay…. I shouldn’t have gotten so many advertisements things Shouldn’t have done that shouldn’t have done that shouldn’t it No, not there, not there not there not there no not there not there not there! oooo… I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate everything about this I hate this in every way oh god, oh god, oh god I’m gonna die…. I’m gonna die I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die dying is what I’m gonna do I’ve gotta be a little smarter about the air vent Because if I’m not smarter about the air vent, I will die if I if I don’t need it, then I shouldn’t use it Probably I don’t no how, I don’t know how this works to be perfectly honest. don’t know anything about it replace bulbs is all I gotta do left Just got to replace the bulbs, I’m outie I’m outie I’m outie 5000. I’m outie come on come on ug oh ah I’m out, I’m out I’m out baby! Okay, I’m outie… Hey Okay, I did it Oh, just gotta go through this one salvage “before you is a animatronic found in the back alley.” no way…. “we are… unsure of its origins” right…. “it is your job to complete the maintenance checklist before claiming it as Salvage” hi baby… “or if you choose to, you can throw it back into the alley where you found it and forfeit payment” alright…. “Please make your choice now” of course I’m gonna salvage it… “you have chosen to procede” aha! “with the maintenance checklist” what if you didn’t do any of this? “use your company issued Taser to return the Animatronics” what if you didn’t… “to a neutral state if you feel that it’s becoming unstable or aggressive You can only use it three times before it begins to damage the animatronic” I know… “and decrease its value” I know… “Begin audio prompt in three two” what if you didn’t “one” what if you didn’t accept any of these? [warbling noises] what if you took the smart road and just tossed them all back in the alley where they belong because I sure as shit don’t want them here “document results” ok…. no, hehehehehe “begin audio prompt in three two one” [warbling noises] and also what the hell is with the audio prompts? and why do I hate them so much? cause I do… “Document results” okay…no. “begin audio prompt” I don’t like you “in three two one gotcha! hehehehehe! that’s right, you return to a neutral state all right. It’s getting ornery see there’s no point in this, this test is nothing! this test does nothing, cuz it’s obviously hostile! “document results” I have a Taser and I’m shocking you of course, It’ll be hostile!! “begin audio prompt” of course it would be! “in three two one” OF COURSE! [warbling noises] why would I keep it? this test is obviously doing nothing “document results” oh what is that light in the nuu… “begin audio” no! Stop it, you stop looking at me with that eye……. Don’t like it “prompt in three two one” [warbling noises] Okay, yeah, let’s go with those sounds sounds of the damns, damnded, the damn damns Those damn damns ok…. great…. Great, wonderful, hellolo wow this is a long one, huh? “Document results” okay, nothing. “you have completed the main” nope! so you… don’t look at me like that I had an extra one [shudder] “this checklist and may proceed with the salvage” yeah, definitely! “well done” Salvage! “end tape” the salvage which is totally worth it [Baby] “you don’t really know who your employer is…do you?” I’m self-employed, princess! I I employ myself! Turned away? why are so many turned away? new lawsuits! I bet there’s gonna be a lot! [drumroll] [wa wa wa waaaaa] oh no [laugh] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that… uh what? wha? wha the hell is..whuohahahha whattttttt????? [reading] She witnessed the head of an animatronic fall off and roll across the ground the young girl was left impossibly and grossly Traumatized due to negligence of defendant fazbear entertainment Inc when asked if she was okay she screamed. staff asked the head not to ask anymore… [laughs] anymore questions! The drama put the young girl in a coma for 10 weeks??!!! she woke from her coma and had been effectively Lobotomized???!!! she relies on her parents and health aides for all functions in her life except for watching TV hanging out with her girlfriends or going to the mall, but for the superbly reckless and careless actions of freddy fazbear inc She would not have suffered an egregious and life-altering injury. I’m gonna fight it. im gonna fight her! pending Alright, oh god! parents union against unsafe atrocities and mechanical abominations, puauaama [laughs] [reading] a young boy was hospitalized for 10 months to the defendant fazbear entertainments inc’s negligent. preparation and handling of foodstuff He had contracted multiple parasites from consumption of food and beverages prepared in fazbear entertainment Parasite caused him to suffer explosive [laughs] dysentery??!! Including painful acute stomach cramps and terrible nausea such horrible circumstances could not [he means could have] have been avoided if fazbear’s inc simply followed approved standards of care for handling food stuff But for fazbear’s experiments cruel indifference to human safety and health he would not have suffered such unnecessary harm and damage There’s no way you can prove he got food poisoning at my establishment! Oh boy, [reading] a young girl was utterly and horrifically disfigured by the reckless endangerment exhibited by defended fazbear entertainment while patronizing fazbear inc’s wholly owned and operated establishment her index finger was broken due to establishments failure to install necessary and approved safety apparatus’s. the child has suffered immense pain and suffering for her inability to ever play itsy-bitsy spider again [laughs] but for the callous indifference Fazbear entertainment has shown to safety standards her digits would be all intact. no way! [singing] the itsy bitsy spider crawled up another Goddamn tree so screw you! oh that’s hilarious ohhhhh!!!!! It’s so cheap though! deluxe ball pit yassss Yes!!! Perfect I love it Excellent should I love it, probably not, but oh well here we are Mmm carnival hoops yes. That’d be good. Ah rockets can’t afford it okay blueprint mode the thing… I think’s one of this might have something to do with old lefty here, but None can tell the tale to be truth to be mattered… ah like it was never there wacky wart paste Oh wacky [laughs] wart oh! lets upgrade this bad boy! Yeah, oh, that’s the good stuff oh look at this oh look at the ballooooons Yes! yes! I should probably take lefty down, but no!! It’s about the risk. That’s what it’s all about Yassss!!!! Yes, put some safety straps on there perfect lets test it. ah what is this… why? uhhhhhh oh nohohoho That’s a bad thing I’m supposed to avoid that [starts dying] whelp! yahoo…frick I don’t mean to be that bad, I don’t, I don’t mean it I don’t mean it. I don’t mean it little bear. I don’t mean it little bear ahhhh! performance bonus! Performance my performance is incredible. anyway, that’s all the time I have for this episode. Thank you everybody so much for watching there’s a lot of cool stuff to like see here and Terribly scary stuff too, so thank you everybody so much for watching Let me know what you think down the comments below and as always I will see you in the next video. Buh-bye!

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