How to Make Sushi (Drunk)

Hey Bridget? What? What did sushi A say
to sushi B? I don’t know. Wasabi! Hello Internet!
I’m John, this is Bridget and every week we get drunk and try something for the
first time and this week we decant even make sushi. So today we are making sushi.
We’re going to start with a roll of or a sheet of seaweed. It is roasted, according
to the package. And what we do is we put it on this bamboo sushi mat that I
actually got directly from China. How exotic. Tell me how sushi works. I don’t actually know which way this is supposed to go so I’m gonna actually do it so the rough side is up.
Rough side is up, that makes sense. That could be wrong. You want smooth on the outside when you’re grasping. Although there were instructions on the back of this. Let’s see what it says. The shiny side down! Awesome! Perfect! Oh my god you’re a natural at this! So the next thing is you take
your sticky rice and you put it on the seaweed. Where? In the middle? And all over the table? You just put it everywhere. Sure! Perfect! I could do that! A child could do that! What I forgot is that you’re supposed to dip your fingers in water because the sushi rice is so sticky. Oh great, now we have salmonella sushi. No, just because it’s gonna stick to my fingers, not to do with the eating of the rice. Mm-hmm, just throw the rice carcass on there. Yup. Call it a meal. Alright so this may or may not be
enough. Should we look at the instructions to find out how much because I feel like that’s important. No, instructions are for poor people and we don’t have time for that. We are poor people. Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that. Um, there’s the rice all over my fingers and things. Perfect. And the next thing you do is you add some cucumber. So you put them into coins and then you sliced them up. Sure, that’s what I did. Little-known fact, these are also
good for eye puffiness. Yeah, please don’t put those in the sushi. I’ll put them here. And second little-known fact they’re also good for nipple puffiness. I did not know that at all. I’m gonna have one puffy nipple and one inflamed nipple. Just walking around the streets with a puffed out nip.
You want to cut this up for the sushi? No, I don’t really. It has touched
your eye and your shirt. There you go. Thanks for that. That’s for salads later. I appreciate that. Next you add cucumb- Nope, this is avocado, we just added cucumber. I got my vegetables confused. I mean they’re all green. What’d you just? Did you? Are you eating without me? Just the avocado. Oh my god, I’m eating this. Now we roll it.
Yeah I’ll roll it and then smoke it, obviously. I think it’s facing the wrong
way. I don’t… we could turn it after we cut it.
Okay so first of all the rice is supposed to be a lot more and that makes sense, so we need to add more rice and then we have to turn the seaweed because the mats gonna roll the wrong way. Oh, that went better than I expected. Okay. There you go. PIVOT! PIVOT! PIVOT! Alright and then we’re gonna add some more rice. So much rice. I’m gonna trying to miss the table this time. Oh I didn’t do the water again. I’m not doing well here. There’s stuff floating in the water anyway. What is that? It’s rice and seaweed bits. Oh my
god where do we-where do you live? It’s like we’ve never made sushi before! There’s chunky water coming out of your faucet. Now we roll it. But I thought you had to
put it all of there. Huh-uh, no, cuz you leave the… So you need to leave one side… a little bit That was a sliver, this is a whole cluster. You want more rice? I’ll give you more rice. An inch? Oh my god. I didn’t measure it. Guys have been lying to you about how much inches are then. Cuz that’s not an inch. There you go. Is that good enough for you? It’s good enough, I guess. You use the mat to roll it. Let me do it. I don’t think you can handle this. So you roll it over. Uh-huh. Then what, oh wise one? There we go. I just did it. Oh yeah! Waiter, can I have some dilapidated
sushi please? Hey, for my first time this is not bad. Could I have some sushi
that’s deflated on one side? I don’t think this is the right knife to cut it with. It’s all right the ends are the bad part anyway. Great! Now we have no outer shell. Waiter, do sushi but without that outer ring?
Can you just smash it right in my plate? Thanks, waiter. It’s what I came here for. Okay, so sushi. Sushi! Why isn’t ours sticking together like normal sushi does? Ta-da! That’s two smashed together! This is totally something we can do! That’s a sandwich sushi. You just took
two and smashed it together. Should I eat it? Obviously, yeah, eat it. And if you don’t
die within 72 minutes, I will eat one as well. Go on, dive in. What you scared of? Open your mouth and close your eyes. It’s really good. Is it? Alright well I’m not gonna wait the 72 minutes. I’m just gonna dive right..what? Ooo, that’s good! I told you. That’s really good. Can ya…maybe we can cut it a little,
little deeper, huh, next time? Maybe we don’t just saw off the top. Maybe we go all the way through next time. I mean, that’s what knives are for, but…cool. Ragweed sushi, perfect. Let me just … Gotta do something with that first end roll. Wrap it over and it’s sushi. Alright, so clearly we’re masters at making sushi now. Obviously. So give it a shot. It’s so easy. It’s not everywhere at all. It’s everywhere! Thank you for watching. You lied, it’s everywhere. Thank you for watching. Like, subscribe, Give us a comment. Tell us if you’ve done this
before and if you did better than us. I hope so. Bye. Wait, did we do jokes after I
change my shirt? Uh, yeah. Hey Bridget? What? What do you call sushi with a tie? I don’t
know. So-fish-ticated. Oh my god, you just are so ready to just say ‘no, John, you’re wrong’. Yeah, no cuz I hadn’t thought about it. Not even thinking about the possibility that maybe he’s right, maybe he knows what he’s talking about. Doubtful. Hey Bridget? What? What did the sushi say when he was fed up? I don’t know. No more Mr. Rice Guy. You make me drink. This is why I drink.
I didn’t actually start until I met you. Yeah, same here. Hey Bridget? What? What did the blind man say when he passed the sushi restaurant? I don’t know. Good morning, ladies. WHAT?! Oh no! That took me a second. NO! NO! We cannot use that!

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