Keith Eats Everything At Taco Bell
Drunkards and stoners alike have always wondered: What’s the best thing to get from Taco Bell? What’s the best use of my five dollars? Well, I’m here to be a hero because today, I’m “livin’ más” and I’m eating everything on the Taco Bell menu. What’s a good Spanish word? Bien! *Theme song plays* We’re here! Taco Bell! It’s gonna be a big order. I need a…crunchy beef taco. Is there, like, a black bean burrito? I’ll take that. *ding* Shredded chicken soft taco. Beefy Fritos burrito. *beeps* How about that guy! *laughs* At the end of the day I ordered about sixty items from Taco Bell and it costs about a hundred and eighty dollars. Let’s start with what’s on top! This might be the Nachos Bell Grande? What a smell! Also the beef is orange, huh. That doesn’t taste like nachos. *laughs* The classic Taco Bell Taco. Tastes good. *smashing* We got plenty o’ big ol’ fuckin’ burritos! Which one? Rice, ground beef, pico. That was pretty good. The orange ground beef is way better than this weird pot roast steak. It’s the Power Chicken Burrito. This is a truly unique flavor I’ve never experienced at Taco Bell. [Deep voice] What’s wrong with my voice? *laughter* What’s happening to me? Like a muffled voice if somebody’s trying to hide their identity. I think this Taco Bell is pretty good. Yeah, it’s just, I think it’s a bean burrito! *gags* *laughter* Feels like eating a Gusher! I feel like that’s what it’s like to be a vampire and bite into a neck. It looks like when you cut up in a zombies arm and it’s all grey matter on the inside? Right? Ladies and gentlemen, perhaps the greatest hexagon ever created: the Crunchwrap Supreme. This tastes exactly like everything else. It’s crunchy and gooey, which I think is most of the Taco Bell food. They really strive to have that blend of crunch and goo, you know? Uh oh! What’s this? Could be anything! Taco Bell is known for using a lot of the same ingredients in different ways. Very inventive, very smart as a business. But how many things taste exactly the same? We’ll find out as I put everything that tastes exactly the same into this bucket. *clang* The gordita crunch thing! *playful music* I believe we have the first candidate for the bucket! *laughter* *clang* In the bucket! I don’t know about you but I’m a mild boy. We have the soft taco. This looks like the standard… NO! OH SH*T YA’LL! It’s the soft taco that says it’s got potatoes in it! “Live más!” I think they’re Fiesta potatoes. People are sleeping on ’em. Five layer bean burrito, or maybe it’s something else. Whatever this is, tastes like Taco Bell through and through. Oh, my voice is gummy. Bring out the bucket! Alright Mexico, call your Italians because we’re ready for the… Oh, it’s the taco salad. I thought it was the pizza! Look, it’s the Donald Trump specialty. Uh, this is a salad. [Offscreen] Oh, god! [pained screaming] This tastes like, um, not good. The one major shortcoming of Taco Bell is the lettuce and this is almost all lettuce. What we got in here? [gasps] This is the black. This is not on the menu unless you’re on the internet. I think this is delicious. The black beans actually taste like pretty solid black beans. Feels kind of like a bit ol’ flaccid dick. It’s so wet. It almost looks like I can pour it out like a cup. Ooh my stomach feels weird [Burping] Another gordita! This is the volcano one, isn’t it? I feel like my other or– other organs are doing stomach responsibility right now. I’ve also just sort of begun farting. It tastes like old pot roast beef. Why would they sell this by the pound? It’s gonna do a pounding on my stomach. They love nouns and “addijives” –and “addijives” [slow motion] –and “addijives” My brain is getting a little full of sour cream. I feel like I don’t want to eat any more Taco Bell. [Gasps] Sh*t ya’ll, this is my favorite thing, this is my favorite thing! We got a chalupa! Motherf*ckers get fired up! We’re about “live más”! Chalupa! I love chalupas. Bring out the bucket! Bucket. [Muffled] Chalupa. Bucket. Mini Quesadilla. That’s a bucket right there. Supreme Soft Taco. Bucket. Crunchwrap Supreme. Bucket. The Cheesy Roll Up. The Double Decker Taco. I’d say it’s about a thousand pounds. Oh! F*ck! Y’all, call the Italians from Mexico cuz it’s time… Oh, this isn’t Mexican Pizza. This is the Spicy Tostada. Tell the Italians to go home. This looks like an incredible taco, but that’s not how you’re supposed to eat it. There’s some kind of, like, thousand island dressing on this. Tastes like there’s a pickle in there, that’s confusing. Somebody put this in a tanning bed. I’m excited, I haven’t had a shredded chicken item yet. If you like spices, it’s got flavor and spice. That was only bread Look at that. Look at the folds. Sometimes, you get the wrong end of the stick. It’s the same on this end! Cheese quesadilla. I feel like they just spray it brown. Sure. Triple Layer Nachos. I shouldn’t read it but I thought it said the “crazy bean and rice burrito” and I was like, yeah! Let’s get loco! It’s a cheesy bean and rice. I’d say this is a good cheap thing to get, especially if you’re vegetarian And don’t have a lot of standards. Some of the stuff just has an immediate effect on your voice. I like that they’re all little toothpastes. There all little taco toothpaste tubes. Don’t be grossed out. This is what food looks like after you eat it too. What is this? I hope I don’t die. I hope I “live más”. Get something else. Chicken Loaded Griller. It’s good. If you like spicy stuff, this is pretty good. It’s very creamy. It looks like milk. OH, YEAH! It’s what you want it to be, it’s the nacho Doritos Locos Tacos. That comes with an extra piece of cardboard. When you line your hot food with cardboard, which is paper, The steam gets trapped real easy. So it becomes the soggiest thing ever immediately. Why aren’t the Fritos crazy? Fritos Locos Burritos. Why don’t they say that? How do they come up with these names? They’re like “uh, let’s see, queso, beano, cruncho.” Why did any taco place start using the word supreme? Call the Italians, Mexico! Because it’s time for a little thing I like to call… the Mexican Pizza! [cheering and applause] Tastes like a cold taco pizza from a pizza place rather than a pizza from a taco place. I think this lives in a realm of– Of cultureless food. In the bucket! Kinda tastes like a cat food taco. Taco Bell should sell this taco to cats. Oh, god! The steak! This is what it looks like! That bite had so much steak. That’s the worst thing I’ve had. It’s the only thing that’s made me wanna vomit so far. And I don’t vomit. I never vomit. What does it taste like? [Zach murmuring] [Zach] I’m okay with it.
[Keith] Get out of my taste test. [Zach] I’m okay with it!
[Keith] Get out of here, it tastes awful! [Eugene] So the ground beef is, I believe at Taco Bell, like 80-something percent beef, [Eugene] and the rest is, like, plant filler.
[Keith] Yeah! [Eugene] So the steak you’re eating is probably–
[Keith] All cow foot! [Eugene] Yeah, and if it’s not over-seasoned then it’s gonna taste like… [Keith] *burps* [Eugene] *groans in disgust*
[Keith] I’m sorry, I can’t– I’m… [Eugene] Okay, wow Keith. [Keith] Every fast food chain wants to have something real spicy. This is the best taco I’ve had so far. Turns out the Volcano Taco is actually just the most balanced taco. Is there a life lesson in this taco? The one that was advertised as the most crazy is in fact the most normal. It’s going in the bucket. Of course it’s going in the bucket it’s the best example of the bucket food. You know why? Cuz it’s Taco Bell. It’s not “Burrito Bell” It’s not “Cheesy Roll Up Bell” *burping* it’s not ‘Quesadilla Bell” It’s Taco Bell, and this taco is the belle of the ball in the bucket. After a feast of a hundred and eighty dollars of Taco Bell, *Burping* You need to relax with the refreshing taste… Don’t worry, this is just puffed food. Nothing. Cinnabon bites. These taste more like churros than the other things. I don’t know why they don’t call these… Chur– chur– Churcles. Hmm! Grab a bag o’ churcles. They also have apple pies, but theirs are apple empanadas. Wow. These f*ck McDonald’s to death. Li– *chokes* Ugh. Live más. The bucket is pretty darn full. I’d say that about 1/3 of the stuff from this place tastes like the– all of it. And that’s not bad. That’s clever business. I’ve been trying to think about how to make my videos exactly the same and yet different for years. If only I could crack that nut. Subscribe for more videos of me eatin’ too much and also subscribe for more bucket. Is the bucket the fifth Try Guy? If you have a bucket at home you’re not using, I’ll take it! I’ll be the new bucket man of Los Angeles. And like I always say: if it ain’t fast food, bucket! Live más.