News Smash: Iran Strike, Tom Brady, Justin Bieber’s “Yummy,” Papa John’s Pizza Challenge


-I want to wish everyone
a happy new year. I saw that, for 2020,
a lot of people are making the resolution
to drink more water. That’s why for the last six
days, college kids have woken up next to a pile
of empty Coors Lights. -Oh.
-This is fun. I saw that people
are participating in the 2020 tipping challenge. Have you heard about this?
It’s where you tip waiters $20.20 in honor of the new year. Waiters heard that,
and they’re like, “That’s great, except
your bill was $500, so…” Let’s get to some news. The big stories.
Everything going on with Iran. A little scary. But on the bright side,
it’s the first time Trump’s ever said “I” and “ran”
in the same sentence. [ Laughter ] That’s right. There’s
so much going on right now. Tensions with Iran are high. People are worried
about World War III. Tom Brady and
the New England Patriots got knocked out of the NFL
playoffs in the first round. [ Cheers and applause ] [ Steve laughs ] Justin Bieber
just released a new song. [ Cheers and applause ] Called “Yummy.” -Mmm. -And Papa John’s founder
John Schnatter says his New Year’s resolution
is to eat 50 pizzas in 30 days. These are all big stories.
A lot to go over. Let’s just jump in
and cover it all at once. It’s time for a “News Smash.” ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] First up, since President Trump
ordered a strike on Iran’s top general,
people have been warning that World War III
could break out. A lot of experts say
the strike was a bad idea. Almost as bad as… eating 50 pizzas in 30 days. Papa John says he’s doing it to
test the quality of the pizza. But that’s
a pretty unhealthy diet. You know who definitely
doesn’t eat like that? Tom Brady. Saturday, his Patriots got
knocked out of the playoffs. Football fans still call him
the greatest of all time, while every woman in Boston
still calls him… Yummy. Justin Bieber’s new song just
dropped, and in the music video, he eats cake, Jell-o,
and lobster. Which is still better for you
than eating… 50 pizzas in 30 days. Seriously, eating like that is like looking
at your stomach and… declaring war. If he wants to avoid
a bigger conflict, Trump needs to talk things out
with Iran. Earlier today, he was like… “Is it too late now
to say sorry?” Justin Bieber’s back
with another single. He’s young.
He’s on top of his game. He’s pretty much
the opposite of…Tom Brady. He had a solid year,
but just like that, it’s over. You could tell Brady’s depressed
because ever since he lost, all he’s been eating is…
Papa John’s. Listen. 50 pizzas in 30 days
isn’t a New Year’s resolution. It’s a death wish.
It’s all over. Kind of like….
the Patriots season. Still, Brady says
he’ll play until he’s 45. Either he’s serious
or he’s totally full of… Papa John’s. So, in conclusion,
have a safe new year. Have a Yummy new year. Have an intervention this year. Maybe next year. [ Cheers and applause ] Listen to this.
Before the Iran strike, Trump told some guests at
Mar-a-Lago that something huge was coming,
but he never told Congress. Which means
there’s a really good chance that Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath
heard about the strike before Nancy Pelosi. Past presidents
including George W. Bush declined taking out
Iran’s top commander because it could lead to war. You know things are bad when
even George W. Bush was like, “This could really mess
things up in the Middle East.” After the attack, Iran said it was pulling out of
the 2015 nuclear deal. So this morning, Trump tweeted, “Iran will never have
a nuclear weapon.” Because nothing calms tensions quite like an all-caps threat
on social media. According to a new poll,
Republicans’ top choices for president in 2024 include
Ivanka and Donald Trump Jr. Meanwhile,
Eric just got his tongue unstuck from a pole he licked
on Christmas. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] That’s good. That’s good.
-Maybe Senate. -Some 2020 news —
I saw that Bernie Sanders is now in a three-way tie for
first place in New Hampshire. [ Cheers and applause ] And if one of your New Year’s
resolutions was to “eat less,” just remember the phrase “Bernie Sanders
is now in a three-way.” [ Laughter ] Well, last night was
the Golden Globe Awards, and Russell Crowe won
for his role in the mini series
“The Loudest Voice.” When he heard that,
Bernie Sanders was like, “How the hell
did I not win that?!” Tonight was the season premiere
of “The Bachelor.” We love that show. I love “The Bachelor.” I’m excited.
The new bachelor is Peter. He’s actually a pilot for Delta. When he’s sitting by the fire
on the date and the girl asks for a blanket,
he’ll be like, “That’ll be nine dollars.” [ Laughter ] Police in Pennsylvania
are investigating after someone intentionally released bedbugs
in a Walmart changing room. -What?
-Luckily, no one was affected mostly because everyone
at Walmart just tries on pants right in the aisles. No rules there.
-“Fit!” -And, finally, listen to this.
I read about some high-school students in Michigan who built the world’s tallest
toilet-paper pyramid. Take a look at this. Yeah. If you want to see that
toilet-paper pyramid in person, it’s currently right outside
Papa John’s bathroom. We have a great show.

63 comments on “News Smash: Iran Strike, Tom Brady, Justin Bieber’s “Yummy,” Papa John’s Pizza Challenge”

  1. Rich Lavoz Official says:

    Hi, Hoy es mi cumpleaños, la única cosa que necesito de todos es darle clic a este link para suscribirse a mi canal de YouTubehttps://youtu.be/DGSS0tHnAtA y que compartan una de mis canciones que más le encanta. Gracias, Dios les bendiga

  2. Lizz Keiper says:

    The transitions are so good. <3

  3. Ash says:

    Its pronounced E-Rawn not I RAN

  4. HoshiReed says:

    Lobster? I thought JB was vegan?

  5. Theodore Skreko says:

    Dude, you change cameras again and I’ll vomit 50 pizzas in the next 30 minutes 😜

  6. 三八弟Mr. says:

    Glad to see that u r promoting peace and not war. Please google “Iran surrounded by American bases” and ask yourself, “Who’s threatening who?”

  7. trytip x. says:

    we know you're not this funny. we know these are written for you. but good delivery

  8. binomalia says:

    It is Iran not Airän.

  9. Preston Knapp says:

    My school at Bullock Creek build that 5:01

  10. Jay says:

    Me:I fuckin love this
    My crazy ass grandpa: Jay Leno's gone to shit

  11. Arash Ghafari poor says:

    The Iranian nation doesn’t want the war…We want just peace and friendship with the USA…

  12. Luzheladia Ramírez says:

    Love you jimmy

  13. Crut Crut says:

    I Ran away from pregnant girlfirend.

  14. Mark 34 says:

    Yo you were cool in the movie with Drew Barrymore and Noone remembers the name of it unless you Google it lol but it barely mattered now your a fucking one man show? You use to be cool somewhat on snl which sucked anyway cause all use blew… Let's time-line back to the 90s guy when it mattered. Never was Never will Never be. Go catch a fortune and be disrespectful to the real people in this world cause all you clowns are fake.. Go Hollywood lol. Fuck outta here. Nope I'm American just don't like fake people.

  15. Mark 34 says:

    Didn't you say that "I" ran joke few months ago dickhead?

  16. Ranjith Reddy says:

    Isn't that E- Ran

  17. Daniel P says:

    You fucking SUCK Jimmy.

  18. Walk Away says:

    angmo…eerun n not iran

  19. Lelynn Miller says:

    ♥ my fellow Michiganders, with the toilet paper pyramid… 🧻 I LUV IT!! 😆👍

  20. Danilo Diniz says:

    😂👏😂😂😂👏👏👏

  21. [][] says:

    50 pizza in 30 days… i mean if it was in 5 days it'd be a resolution, 30 days is not even 2 pizzas a day…

  22. [][] says:

    50 pizza in 30 days… i mean if it was in 5 days it'd be a resolution, 30 days is not even 2 pizzas a day…

  23. A.R.M. RAHAT says:

    Maybe next year.
    Ma man's a savage.

  24. Danilo Diniz says:

    Papa John's bathroom ahahaaaaa 😂

  25. Enola Bejko says:

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  26. Kris Parapibul says:

    Really good monologue. Much better than his interviews.

  27. Surojit Pal says:

    This is the greatest lines of back to back pooping transition

  28. Nehal Jhirmaria says:

    It's "E-raan"

  29. JayCzzzYa says:

    Brilliant!

  30. Gilsz WARRIOR says:

    2:48 ayyy…. I gotta say, that was smooth😂

  31. call me takhribchi says:

    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run
    thats not Eye Ran , its E-Run

  32. Horacio Cordova says:

    Brady is a t-Rumpian and he can go fuck off.

  33. Dr. Richard D. Stiff says:

    Iran: Eye-ran❎

    Iran: E-ron✅

  34. Linda Gautney says:

    Shut up you Illuminati puppet just shut the hell up everybody knows what you are all you people are outed go to hell where you belong you're a bunch of demons

  35. Kira-Rose Marvel says:

    this was great, especially the puns

  36. Jason Suhr says:

    Rarely bad news but good news still remain. ?.?…? Duhh

  37. Jay Crew says:

    Jimmy said rac and ist in the same sentence.

  38. Tyler Reed says:

    Ww3? No other countries need to bother it's wwtrump

  39. That’s SowDev TM says:

    🚨 #Beliebers my new #Yummy music video reaction is OUT NOW! What did you think of the #JustinBieber comeback?
    Link: https://youtu.be/VgrX60NkQLg

  40. David Hassen says:

    Hey I recognize that pyramid! That was built by our robotics team!!!!

  41. Warren Hertfelder says:

    Jimmy: “Justin Bieber released a new song.”
    Audience: “Yea!”
    Me: “Eww.”

  42. EmperorNicholasNicholaiNiccolo JamestheGreatnesses says:

    If you legally change your first name and middle names to gender girls names I’ll let you fantasticate melodiousness Innocentness awesomeness.👑🍒🍊🌷💐🦄☘️🎁🍐🍭🍑💝🎂🧁🍄🍫❤️🍁🍀🌹💋🥀🍏☕️☕️🌶🥧What do you say Princess Jimena Fancifulnesses. I want you to n’ I want you to hug me n’ hold me in your arms like a baby right NOW!!!

  43. Damian Bowyer says:

    Tee Hee. Gr8 Stuff Jimmy.

  44. Braedon Davies says:

    "People are worried about World War III." As in you and 5 other left-wingers?

  45. Suoiip Els says:

    It’s actually 40 pizzas in 30 days

  46. William Meyer says:

    The way people cheered at the Pats getting knocked out.

  47. Fajriah Ramadhan Ismail says:

    Kudos writers, & jimmy for makin it work👍🏻👍🏻

  48. Teina Kore says:

    Yes..
    Peace on the world

  49. Lilly Murray says:

    Tom Brady may have lost but he is still the G.O.A.T! Idc Idc!!

  50. maryam moezzi says:

    Jimmy , i adore you
    But your pronunciation is wrong
    ee run , not i ran. please try to at least pronounce “Iran” correctly, so that no jokes will have to be made .
    Eeee run.

  51. Cole Vick says:

    Oh Jimmy Fallon. You got that yummy news segment.

  52. N LIl says:

    Stop calling it “I Ran” 🤦‍♀️ It’s pronounced “E-Run”😊

  53. BeautflDisaster4 says:

    Jimmy’s top lip never moves. It’s creepy

  54. Stinkerbell says:

    Why does Jimmy always look like he’s hung over lately?

  55. Hidden Kitten says:

    I love this guy! he's adorable! 😊Hi, I’m Brittney Hill 😀 . I really enjoy your uploads! I’m looking to live in Los Angeles county, where Hollywood is! I am currently living in Orange County, and looking for a place to live in Los Angeles County. Yay, me! My whole life, I’ve always done everything by myself, literally, so that’s why I’m super proud that I figured out my, Destiny (All by myself). My Destiny is to get married to a few guys, all at once, and be the perfect happy family. Those guys are, Tom Ellis (he is a Russian actor on a hit-show in America called, Lucifer), Hugh Bonneville and Jim Carter (they are 2 really handsome gentlemen on the show, Downton Abbey), Louis Garrel (he is super famous French actor on the movie, Dreamers), and then I am also to marry, Henry Cavill and Johnathan Rhys Meyers (they are super hot guys on the huge show, The Tudors). I will become their Wife, and Mother to our children (it’ll be my first time being a Mom). So far, we have 3 daughters. I am also going to, finally, become a, famous, American, Actress on the big screen. The second thing in my Destiny is to be a real, live, Queen, for the United Kingdom. I was born to do all of these things :D, so it is in my blood. I’m Middle class, and I AM, social climbing, so I will, marry the first rich man I come in to contact with, of course. HAHA! Either way my story plays out, I WILL END UP MARRIED TO THESE MEN, POST HASTE! That is a promise. I’m 31 years old, and I’m not just any Millennial, I’m, THAT, Millennial! You can join me wherever you see me in person 😀 ! See you on the big screen 😀 ! Family. Love. Love. Love <3 .

    signed,

    Brittney Hill, Friday, January 10th, 2019, Up and Coming, Famous, Screen Actress. SuperStar.

  56. Royal Bananana says:

    World war three
    Me:CRAP
    Mom:no it’s just a war that’s all
    Me: loading the gun
    Mom 😒

  57. AlexFerrero12 says:

    how do you like Iranians calling you Americunts? its ee-ron not Ai- ran.

  58. christine freeman says:

    USTUPID !!!😍😍😍😍👋

  59. Angus McFee says:

    Fallon never found a joke he could deliver.
    Drop the monnologue, Jimmy … you're just no good at it.

  60. leonard chiarini jr says:

    TRUMP 2020😀🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷

  61. My profile pic is godly says:

    I love how everyone started cheering when Fallon said that the Pats got knocked out of the Playoffs 😂😂😂

  62. Jonah Paulino says:

    Tom Brady and the patriots got knocked out on the first round “crowd” yeahhhh

  63. Silmara Silva says:

    BRASILEIRO CADÊ VCS!!!!

  64. TheMangomelon789 says:

    Bieber tried to manipulate the charts by telling his fans how to use a vpn to make it look like they are streaming in the US. Not so yummy.

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